Holding Space to Heal

For a long time, I was confused about exactly what it meant to hold space for another person.  As a healer, though, this is essential to what I do.  I hold a space for others to heal themselves.  But what does that really mean?

To me, to hold space means holding the whole, healthy, and perfect image of the person I wish to bring healing to.  Our intentions, our beliefs, are what bring about our healing.  It is hard for someone who is suffering to believe that they are whole, healthy, and perfect and that life is good and full of abundance.  The more a person is suffering, the harder it becomes for them to hold that belief that will bring them healing.  So, I hold it for them.  I hold a space for healing, while they feel and go through whatever they need to feel and go through.

I have gotten really good at holding space for friends, clients, and strangers.  I am still learning to hold space for myself and the people closest to me.  It is harder for me to detach from my own suffering or those that love.  Little by little, I am getting there, at the time of this writing, however, I am still only able to hold on to it for moment at a time.  That is okay though, I have a community I can turn to.

When I am too close the situation and unable to detach and hold that space of perfect wholeness and health for the people I love so much, it used to bring me great frustration that ultimately brought down my own vibrations and just made everything worse.  I have learned to let go of the need to do it on my own though.  I can practice detachment at my own pace and trust others to hold space for me and my family when needed.  I know I can ask my community and my church and people will hold space for me.  This is one of the great benefits of our universal connection with life. 

We are never alone in anything.  Remembering our perfection is what brings us healing, but when we cannot remember, others can remember it for us.  We can do the same for them.  This is all that ever happens in healing, really.  Someone must hold space for healing by holding the image of health in their thoughts and emotions. 

Fear of the Highest Good and What Can Trigger It

I had someone reach out to me wanting Reiki sent to a specific situation for a specific outcome.  I told them I would send Reiki for their highest good and that of the situation.  They asked me not to do this and expressed fear of their highest good.  At first this may seem a strange fear, but it is not an uncommon one. 

There are three common reasons this fear of a person’s highest good may manifest.  One is that they do not believe they deserve to experience good things.  If a person believes that they do not deserve the very best in life, they may fear that their highest good isn’t going to be very enjoyable.  There may be a sense of wanting to set low expectations so as not to be disappointed.  This is belief of not deserving good things is a faulty belief that will keep a person out of alignment with their higher-self and block their highest good.  Reiki may relieve the block temporarily, but in order to facilitate lasting change, the person will need to recognize their true worthiness.  Raising their confidence and level of self-love will be necessary. 

Another reason one may fear aligning with their highest good is a belief that it means being the best version of themselves and that maybe the best version of themselves will not be the most fun or enjoyable version.  They may fear the responsibility of always having to be the best they can be.  They may need help to realize that being in alignment with our highest good will always feel good.  They need to know that when something is in their highest good, the responsibility will come naturally and feel right to them once they let go of resistance they hold due to faulty beliefs.  They may also need some guidance in discovering what their higher self is trying to tell them, through their emotions, that their highest good is. 

A third reason a fear of one’s highest good may present itself is if, at least on some level, the person knows that what they want is not in their best interest.  This may happen when a person is in a situation that causes a pleasure response but is unhealthy for them.  For example, a drama heavy relationship, drug and alcohol use, or eating junk foods can all have this effect, as well as many other things.  What people need to learn in this situation is that the joy that can result from aligning with their higher good will far outweigh the pleasure they find in these unhealthy things.  Letting go can be hard and painful but is worth the effort. 

Although all of these things must be overcome in order to come into alignment with one’s greatest good, that can only happen if they are ready.  In a healing practice, there may be times that we will work with people who are struggling with these sorts of faulty beliefs.  Although we may recognize them, it is good to try to guide those struggling to their own conclusion of where this fear of the highest good is coming from and how they can best overcome it while supporting them with Reiki and love.