I was slow to add meditation to my self-care and spiritual practice. I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder Without Hyperactivity). Sitting still and quieting my mind seemed like an impossible feat. I did not think I would ever be able to get to that sweet spot I had heard of. That place of calm connectedness sounded so good to me but seemed so out of reach.
I was a newly attuned 1st Degree Reiki Practitioner with loads of self-healing work before me. I was trying to change my life, but things were extremely stressful. I was learning to set much needed, healthy boundaries with my ex-husband. I was letting go of one-sided friendships where I was giving too much of myself. I was watching my oldest child struggle with a drug abuse problem and learning that having to accept that there was nothing I could do to help her until she was ready to be helped. On top of it all, I was still dealing with a lot of pain and discomfort from Fibromyalgia. My thoughts and emotions were overwhelming and all over the place. I had to find a way to get a handle on things. I decided to take a meditation course and see if I could finally learn to quiet my mind and find some peace within myself.
The course was helpful in teaching me the mechanics of meditation. I knew how it was supposed to work. I just did not seem to be able to get there. I would sit down on the floor with my legs crossed and my spine straight, but relaxed. I would breathe slowly; in for four counts, hold for four counts, out for six counts. I would try to watch my thoughts and troubles float away in bubbles. I would try to bring my mind back to center whenever it wandered. I just could not find that sweet spot, that connectedness and peace, I was looking for.
My therapist suggested that I stop trying to meditate in such a mechanical way. She suggested trying guided meditations and listening to them while lying or sitting comfortably. I did find it easier to relax this way, but still struggled to calm my mind. My mind would wander so constantly from the meditation that it was mentally exhausting trying to keep bringing myself back to it.
Then one day, while listening to a guided meditation, I asked Spirit to help me find a way to calm my thoughts. I felt urged to begin my self-Reiki healing routine. As I went through the self-Reiki hand positions, the Fibro pain lessened, and my body was able to relax. As my body relaxed it became easier to focus on the guided meditation. I continued to give myself Reiki as I listened and soon my mind began to relax as well, and I was finally able to get to the place being described in the meditation. My mind was able to connect with it and make it real. I found peace.
Combining self-healing Reiki with my meditation practice became part of my daily bedtime routine. I would lie on my back, get myself comfortable, start a guided meditation playing on YouTube, and begin the self-healing hand positions. Sometimes I fell asleep before it was done, but as someone who suffered from insomnia, that was welcomed. I believe this time of quiet and calm helped to speed my emotional healing.
It was not long before I felt I was getting better at the whole meditation thing and decided I would try a quiet breathing meditation again. I seated myself on the floor, sat up straight but relaxed, placed my hands on my Solar Plexus area, just below the ribs, and let Reiki flow as I began breathing slowly; four counts in, hold for four counts, six founts out. First, I felt Reiki filling me, then I felt myself begin to melt into the energy around me. I felt like I was floating and not only felt calm and at peace, I felt blissfully happy. There was an emotional release of joy that I never would have imagined was even within me. This was the sweet spot I had been searching for. With the help of Reiki, I had found it.