When I first started practicing Reiki, I wanted to help everyone I could. I would channel Reiki freely for anyone who asked. I felt pressure to show up when, where, and how others expected me to as a healer. I wanted to provide the services expected in the exact way they were expected. And I experienced a lot of guilt anytime I wasn’t able to meet those expectations.
I knew I had to set healthy boundaries, but how? As someone who has multiple loved ones with addiction issues, I’ve been hearing this statement for decades. Until recent years, I never really understood what it meant, though. I only had a vague idea what a healthy boundary was and no idea how to enforce a boundary.
I think the most significant way that I misunderstood that idea of setting boundaries, was that I thought of them as like a line drawn in the sand that a person must not cross or…else? I thought of boundaries as rules. They were the hard limits a person wouldn’t put up with. You set up your rules, surround yourself with them, and they are supposed to protect you from the bad behavior of others.
Now I understand. Setting healthy boundaries really has nothing to do with other people. Setting healthy boundaries is about knowing who we are, what our limits are, and what we need to do to protect our own energy. They aren’t rules we set for others; they are a plan we make for ourselves.
After setting healthy boundaries around my Reiki practice, things began to go much smoother for me. I no longer suffered from overwhelm and guilt. The following three steps saved my Reiki practice and my sanity and allowed me to keep serving others as my best self.
1. I became very clear about what services I had to offer, when I would be available, and what I expected from clients. This is something I realized I had to figure out for myself and in great detail. I had to get clear with myself about what services I would offer professionally, whether I wanted to offer free services and under what circumstances and conditions, when I would be available for sessions and communication and what that would look like, and exactly what I expected my clients to do in return for my services and in support of their own healing.
2. I began to communicate my skill set, limits, and expectations with my audience and clients in a very clear, non-wishy-washy way. I stopped leaving room for discussion or negotiation. I made clear offers with clear expectations.
3. I have committed to the boundaries I have set. My heart still yearns to help everyone, but I know that if I cannot help someone within my boundaries, there is another practitioner out there who is a better fit and will be able to. I do not have to help everyone. It is not all on me. I do not communicate with my audience, clients, or students during personal hours. I only offer free Reiki if the situation falls within specific guidelines. If my expectations aren’t being met, I communicate the issue and withdraw myself from the situation if it is not remedied.
Setting healthy boundaries within my practice helps make my business sustainable, keeps me from experiencing burnout, and protects my energy for my own well-being. Without the boundaries I have set, I would not have been able to continue in this line of work. I recommend all practitioners take the time to evaluate their own boundaries often, and make adjustments when needed, to protect their own energy and keep their businesses running smoothly.